Just disconnect for a while

I remember when my imagination washed over everything around me. When my way of being, my thoughts and ideas were not annoying, inappropriate or distracting. When my thoughts would not cause stress, just be something to play around with. When I would not judge my every action and thought. I grew up pretty isolated on the Swedish countryside. I spent my time alone, but it never felt alone, and it never felt like it was being wasted. Just walking around, carrying my homemade wooden sword and imagining I was in my own movie, would be the greatest way to spend time. Life felt exciting and interesting. The unknown didn't seem so scary, and I didn't need to know what happened in the future. It was all here and now.

The Modern Adult Mind

My brain and way of being has shifted since then, of course. But looking back, I believe I have some things to learn of my younger self.

I have been looking at life so seriously the last few years. What will I become?, how will I succeed?, what should I do with my time?

I have developed a non stop radio channel blasting inside my head, with my own voice being the host. And I'm getting tired of him.

Sometimes I decide to sit down in silence, with no distractions to try and stop this radio chatter. When I do disconnect for a while, I can tell very clearly how hard it is to stop the noise, and experience silence. But maybe its not silence I need to be looking for. Maybe I need to take of the glasses that makes everything looks so serious and replace them with glasses that sees the exciting potential of play around me.

Just let it be

Maybe we all need to disconnect, not from our thoughts and chatter, but from the serious adult mind that constantly wants answers. Just let it be, breathe lightly with a open mind and play.

I am a adult now, soon I will have to shape my own future by finding a home of my own and a way to pay the cost of living. This question constantly runs around in my head begging to be answered, and it causes me to feel like life is going to implode and fail. This is where I need to take the advice from my younger self, listen to my own imagination. What does it say, what would be exciting for me?

I will try and pull myself out of the seriousness and disconnect from the constant questions wanting to be answered. Look at life as something exciting, and listen to my imagination instead of denying it with the serious and tired adult mind. This post is a just a flow-write, with no real structure, a conversation for myself. But, I made this blog to be organic and real, so I believe this will also have it's place here. Take care, breathe out, and allow yourself to have some playtime. Just disconnect for a while.